The true nature of reality and how to effectively create and live the life you really want

One of the most interesting factors when doing work that involves emotional and programming release, is the way in which each of those releases reaches its exit or transition point.

It never moves in a straight line. This is the nature of reality itself however, things move in a non-linear fashion and it is only when we attempt to draw a line, and create a rigid plan, that we come up against resistance and spiral into situations that we would not have consciously chosen for ourselves, had we trusted the non- linear nature of reality. To a human however, mastering this process of manifestation, is in the recognition that we are never really trying to manifest anything, only continuously moving in a direction of alignment towards the things we wish to experience. These things already exist and it is up to us whether or not to align to the experience of them, or to try and rigidly stick to a plan of the way things ‘should’ happen or produce themselves. For the human however, trying to straddle this nature of reality through the perception of the linear mind, is the mastery. It is what we came here to do. This is the matrix of design that we agreed and wanted to experience so we set ourselves up designed to consistently move us towards this position of mastery. It is this strange but beautiful entanglement of always being ready to jump when the time presents itself like a sliding door, accepting it will probably always be unexpected and to not hold expectation that when something that looks like an opportunity presents itself, that the opportunity itself, may actually be serving something completely different. It is the definition of random in nature, yet your mind is still engineered to view that jumping through timelines of experience, as a story, completely linear in nature, even though it really is not.

What I mean by vibrational alignment to experience, is behaving and believing the things that you need to believe in order to align yourself with your chosen experiences. To translate, imagine you are wanting deep meaningful relationship with a soulmate. You set about setting yourself up on dating apps, going out all the time just to meet people and your whole focus it set to connecting with and developing a relationship with a soulmate, deciding that the only way to do that, is to put yourself in a place and time that you consider to have a higher likelyhood of that happening based on numbers. You still choose to engage in one night hook ups and chat to a myriad of different people all at the same time, not really committing your time to get to really know any one of them, for fear of choosing the wrong one. The energy you are projecting, is desperation in nature, confusion and of not really knowing what you want and is not how someone in a committed relationship would behave or what they would project. You are not projecting, the energy of the thing that it is you wish to attract. The desired energy here is COMMITMENT and STABILITY. So in order to radiate and attract someone that is also radiating the same thing, you do not need to throw yourself into the expected process of the dating game, but simply choose something in your life that you enjoy doing and you are willing to give you all, and focus on that. Take your eyes off the soulmate, that will show up when the time is right and you have literally forgotten about it and are now OK whether it shows up or not. You basically surrender it completely.

In order to achieve anything from a manifestation point of view, you have to work indirectly with it. Knowing it will show up, whilst directing your focus onto something else that you enjoy doing. That does not mean to say you will not think about it still and get excited about the prospect of how and when it will show up, but you will not find it all encompassing and connect to it as an emotional need or a reason that you will be happy WHEN it shows up.

When you attempt to create and attract anything from an ‘attached emotional need’ such as needing someone else to make you feel secure, you will attract the exact opposite so that you learn the ability to make yourself feel safe and self soothe.

To give you an example, I love my parents dearly and as far as i’m concerned, they did the best possible jobs they could have done, given their upbringings, the environmental factors and expectations that would have been placed on their arrangements by society and other influential aspects at the time, and what they experienced personally as children. Granted, they made mistakes, that had a knock on effect for my sister, and brother and I when it came to later life in the same way it did for them, but we are all human and everyone does things they’re not proud of at times, but in truth, its how we learn.

At the age of 18, I moved away to University in Leeds, then quit University in the first year because I found it really unstimulating, mostly down to the choice of course that I thought would honour what my mum would have wanted me to choose based on my creative skillset and very quickly I entered into a relationship with someone that was a little older then me and at the time, from the outset, a relationship that was in fact emotionally abusive. He was someone I looked at and thought I could fix to obtain that feeling of achievement I was craving. The feeling of completion with something.  This was all unconscious of course at the time, it was only later in life did I realise the connection between it all. I gave everything I had to make this person happy and it was never enough, to the extent where my own happiness was completely compromised and the only way I saw a way out was to engage in a secret relationship with someone else at the same time. This lasted a year before everything blew up in my face and I ended up feeling guilt that I had never experienced before in my life. Lesson learnt, painfully, but not to be repeated. It ended up being a game play of control that is not the behaviour that presents itself in committed, loving relationships.

It was a distraction tactic that I had learnt all too well from my dear mother who also engaged the same escape route tactic and entered into an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man when she started to feel unstimulated and unhappy in her marriage and job and decided to seek what appeared to be the easy thrillseeker option. Again, lesson learnt, for which I am very proud of her for.

All these painful interactions were the result of an attached emotional need, needing something to make you feel better about yourself, so attracting the exact opposite to give you a lesson in self love, as you are ultimately, the only person that will ever be able to give you that. In truth, the arena that these lessons play out in are not biased. For some, they will become addicted to the feeling of popularity and success brought by work that will eventually crumble to teach them that they are not purely what they have ‘achieved’. The energetic underlying projection creating the stage for those interactions is exactly the same, it is only the perceived mental projection, and the way it is experienced that is different.

So, if you apply that to the manifestation process of creating things you want to experience, you have to be choosy about what you are offering up and start understanding what you are asking for from a position of the heart, and what you are asking for as an emotionally attached need. Both will come with experience, but one will be preferred, the other, not so much. Learn how to identify what you truly want, without attachment, which means being brutally honest with yourself and others and understanding your own behaviours and emotional cues and letting the things that honestly don’t work for you, go.

So are you creating consciously, or unconsciously? Granted, it can be a bit of a minefield when you are becoming a conscious creator, but thankfully, there are people on hand that can look deep into your energetic system (such as myself) to see what is being offered up and advise you how to rewrite and redirect it if your outer reality doesn’t appear to be matching what you are asking for. Eventually, you’ll be comfortable enough to do it on your own, but we all need a little help sometimes starting out with something new!

So take this opportunity, if you have stumbled across this blog and ask yourself, is this really the life that I chose, or the one that I accept for myself? Either way, it’s your choice.

Your chosen experiences do not have to be what we have been programmed to believe as validated experiences such as becoming famous or the best athlete or entrepreneur in the world, which are all actually unattainable because the only thing you can ever best the best at is the chosen version of you, nothing from a competitive aspect with another will ever be a wholly fulfilling experience because it is short lived. In truth, one of mine was always to have a loving committed and supportive relationship with a soulmate and children of my own which I have now and it’s the best feeling in the world.

The other was to have a paid job I love which to be honest, I’d never even imagined it would bring me to where I am now. (The energy you are offering with this request, is actually, I want to become an expert at something!) At the age of 10, I thought that job was to be a Fashion designer? Then 5 years ago, I thought it was a successful musician and singer? How wrong I was but it all lead me to other experiences that pushed me into positions of learning where I discovered exactly what job satisfaction feels like to the point where I am now in the fruition stage of that too with my own company. When you stumble across what you really enjoy, it never feels like hard work, you want to do it because your heart is well and truly in it and that is never a feeling you can fake. You know it’s real, because it’s a feeling that chooses you and is often the most unexpected thing in the world but it’s like a neutron star collision in your chest that jumps for joy and it’s the same feeling I got when I randomly met my partner and when we found out we were having a baby.

That’s your indicator that Christmas just got delivered to you.

Have a great day!

Stef 🙂

you If you would like to explore more of what I do, or to book a session, visit: www.stefbaker.com.

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