How are you going to afford that? The sneakiest question in modern day society

We have as humans created this relative system based on numbers. The amount something costs seemingly equates its worth. In its design, it is a logical system that works well with the human mind as it makes things easy to track. The issue that we have in modern society is that we have used it as a reason to determine worth in all measures. We even rate attractiveness of a person based on numbers. The limitation with this is that we view everything objectively from a place of better or worse, higher or lower, worthy or not worthy rather than just viewing it relatively based on personal preference. For example, I very rarely watch TV, so wouldn’t see it worth investing in an expensive TV, or a TV at all for that matter purely down to personal preference. I don’t see people as good or bad for wanting that and respect people exactly the same if they do and feel it a worthy investment, it just doesn’t offer much to me personally as I choose to spend my time doing other things that interest me.

My partner and I recently relocated to London. It has been something we have wanted to do for some time, but as in the nature of systematic universal design, timing is everything. We both wanted to experience the physicality of feeling balanced, financially affluent and joyful in our chosen lines of work. For us both to have meaningful and sustaining careers. We have a baby on the way and this gave us the drive to really put ourselves in a position where this was the case. I had already figured out what I wanted to do, but location-wise, Leicester was not the place to make my business sustainable. I had done a lot of free work and actually delivered a lot of readings over the years and worked day in day out to produce a level of expertise in my work that made me proud and confident in the delivery and in the free content that I put out. Leicester was a place that was at the emergence stages of acceptance for the type of work (anything related to spiritual or self development) that I do and although I was delivering ‘quietly’ much of this work, I wasn’t getting the open interaction and reviews that are important when it comes to others investing in your line of work as others were fearing being judged for their openness to this line of work so I very rarely received a review or recommendation because the individuals weren’t in a place where they were ready to be open about it, such is the nature of the emergence of this line of work, it takes time for others to feel comfortable about the acceptance of something new, in a place that is still very much engineered to an older way of thinking and behaving. This meant that I had to do more ‘free’ work again and again just to try and get the numbers on recommendation until I realised why it just wasn’t working in a balanced way. I completely understood why, but it wasn’t sustainable for me and I was giving a lot more then I was getting in return and receiving a lot of promises for promotion and reviews that never materialised so I knew the demographic and location needed to change in order to reach a wider, more interactive audience and London felt like the place. Even down to the amount of hits I was getting through the website and on media that I posted was phenomenal but the return in interaction was strangely reminiscent of tumbleweed.

The energy at the ground level, is a very powerful factor when it comes to materialisation of chosen experiences and desires. If you are located in a place that is not ready for what you have to offer in a way that will also sustain you, you need to look elsewhere and be willing to take that jump and understand that it will work itself out because you are aligned to the place that you want to be in. We have a tendency to beat ourselves up for not working hard enough, especially when others look on and judge us for what they think they understand about our position, when really, they know very little, but the truth is, the answer is much easier than we think. We are simply not aligned to a physical place that allows those things to materialise. Work won’t ever feel hard, if you are expanding on what you enjoy because you will naturally have the energy to keep going with it and actually get a phenomenal amount more done in a short space of time then you would if you were attempting to ‘work hard’ at something that held no passion or purpose for you.

I have already had more open up for me here opportunity-wise in the last 5 weeks then I could have even imagined for myself and more then anything that has shown up in the past 5 years, so I know that we are most definitely in the right place. The alignment of vibration matches.

Going back to numbers however, one of the most interesting questions my partner and I have come into contact with since moving here (many times from individuals from where we lived before and were connected to and not once from people that actually live here!), is ‘how are you going to afford that?’. At first in all honesty, it started to irritate me as it wasn’t a question I ever feel is important to ask anyone so it never even crosses my mind to ask and was something that always felt like such a waste of energy to me to talk. Irritation always stems in me however, when something needs to be looked at more deeply, so after a few days of reflection, I understood. When you ask a person how they are affording something, not only do you put money factoring as the important forefront factor in a person’s decision making and happiness, you also indirectly prompt self reflection that asks them to justify themselves, which no one ever has an obligation to do. You ask them to quantify their self worth in numbers which no one can do and is never a true reflection. The word ‘afford’ itself, holds negative connotations that puts a gap between you and the endeavour you are invested in. The only time someone’s financial situation matters to anyone outside of you or the team you are part of, such as people that are helping to support you financially, is if, when that person is telling you of their endeavours and dreams, you want to be a part of that vision so ask them; can I help you financially in any way? If that person wanted or felt like they needed that assistance in any way, they would ask.

To ask how they are ‘affording something’ denotes that you don’t believe in them and are judging their positon of joy for how you think it should look. It is simply a reflection of how you feel about yourself and your own thinking patterns because when you leave that conversation, that person’s financial choices will have as much as an impact on you as they did at the beginning of the conversation. None at all. Yet you have taken the opportunity to attempt to question the individual on something that doesn’t matter in the slightest, when they are telling you about something they are really happy about which is like putting a damp cloth over a firework.

Money can materialise in a million different ways, it is habitual thinking in the way in which it ‘should’ materialise that actually cuts off all other avenues of it. Money, like anything in this universe is not biased, and we never really need more then what that equation feels like numbers wise-comfortably to us. The reflection of worth in numbers means nothing to anyone outside of us. Some people are happy living off the land in a tent. It is not a reflection of their self worth that they wouldn’t need much numbers wise to comfortably sustain that lifestyle, but simply a choice and a reflection of what joy means to them. It’s like the question ‘how much do you earn?’. Always one that makes me laugh, as how is that in any way a reflection of the person or the person’s situation? If you have 2 people in a partnership, one through ‘work’ earns more then then they need for the both of them, yet the other one takes care of the house, runs the children around and does a bit of voluntary work, and is perfectly happy and joyful in that position, how is that ever a reflection on the person’s self worth and a relevant and appropriate question? You can’t quantify or judge the worth of the person not bringing in the financial side of things as anything less, just because it doesn’t have numbers after it.

The amount of times we heard ‘London is so expensive’, was unbelievable. It is only ‘expensive’ if you mentally place a gap between what you want and what you believe you can have and you judge its worth. It is simply relative living and to question it is always a question of self worth quantified in numbers.

So next time you ask someone a financially related question that isn’t because you want to invest in them or are already invested in them, please try and stop yourself, because it causes the person to question their position of self worth which is not at all supportive.

Never feel like you have to justify your position to anyone. The only question that you should ever be concerned about in a person is whether or not they are happy. If they are not and you are in a position to help in some way, then offer your help and do what your position can do for them.

Be brave enough to be honest if you’re not happy too, to those that you know that are in a position to be able to help you and would want to help. It is not a negative thing if you don’t feel joyful, just an indicator that something needs to change.

No man is an Island.

Happy Monday!

Stef To book a session which now includes Life Purpose Oracle Card Readings and Dream Analysis Interpretation Readings, or to explore further visit- www.stefbaker.com.

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