The Human Compass- LOA, emotional bypassing and more…

Welcome to my first blog addition.

I decided to do this series ‘The Human Compass’, as a navigation tool to help people with the process of self discovery and to assist in making sense of everything else that factors in around that subject area.  Please see it as tool that will help point the way when you are unsure of the road ahead and what is being presented to you. A tool to assist you on your journey through this wild and wonderful ride we call human life because ultimately, it is you that writes your own story. My part, is going to help assist you in understanding yourself by sharing everything I possibly can with you about how to navigate the human vehicle based on my own experiences and things I have tried and tested in all their glory, and my greatest desire is that you get to a point in your own understanding about how to navigate through life that you don’t need any outside assistance anymore.

From my own personal experience, when your are told repeatedly to ‘love yourself’, ‘follow your dreams’ and just love everyone and everything, ‘life will be OK’ and to cheer up’, when you are in a pool of dramatic heart wrenching pain, and the most rational thing that you can think up at that point in time as a solution is to detonate your whole town, being told these superfluous statements, doesn’t help anyone because knowing what makes you truly happy and what doesn’t takes work and a very honest and open approach to all emotions, not just the ones you want to feel and as a general rule, people will only choose to embark on self discovery when wanting to understand why they are coming up against so many painful experiences, which in turn, opens that door. Words are the easiest thing to say but to really understand what those things mean on an emotional level is a completely different kettle of fish. I have met people time and time again that are beating themselves up for not being able to embody that state of being immediately, myself included, when I started to become self aware, when it’s completely insane to expect yourself to switch into that state immediately. Remember, you are always a work in progress. You never stop learning.

This brings me to a trend that is currently sweeping the nation, that I like to call, ‘the everything is awesome’ mentality. You would be hard pushed to find a person that doesn’t have some form of fishing pole in social media to tell you that they haven’t at least come across the concept of the ‘law of attraction’. For those of you that are new to the concept however and don’t use social media, like my Nan, the law of attraction, in its most simple terms, states that you attract experiences in your life that you are a vibrational match to. This is true, however, you only know you when you are a true vibrational match to something when you genuinely don’t care anymore about how or when it shows up in your reality because emotionally, you are already a match so are already feeling the genuine fulfilment of it, without being attached to the thought of it or experiencing the physical return of it. Ironic huh? You cannot, however, ever fake a state of being or pretend that you feel you are emotionally aligned to something when you are not. Trying to do this leads to a process called emotional bypassing which is a current trend which has developed from the introduction of the law of attraction and if you follow it, it will take you down a long ass route that will park you straight back where you started.

To give you a first hand encounter of this trend and how it presents itself energetically, so that you can recognise it if you are presented with it, I tell the tale of my experience in the world of network marketing. At the beginning of last year, I was approached by a network marketing company, and being open to exploration, as I like to get an honest and first hand experience with something before I make my decision about it, I agreed to attend a couple of the seminars and tutorials for what was being offered. Now although personal experience is everything and there are people that operate and work in the world of network marketing very happy and in true alignment with what they are doing, we naturally gravitate towards the tribes of people that are energetically in alignment with us and as soon as I walked into the seminar room, I felt like I was in the cast of the Lego Movie. For those of you that haven’t seen it; I would highly recommend it, it’s a great film, but also, there is a song in it called ‘Everything is awesome’, that is a repetitive track, much like brainwashing that is played over and over again that sounds exactly to me how emotional bypassing feels. Complete fixation on a positive mindset, experiences, emotions and affirmations and heavily judging, bypassing or rejecting anything that you would consider as negative or unwanted emotions or experiences. Funnily enough it’s actually the song I hear that alerts me when I read for people that are in a cycle of emotional bypassing now as well..spirit likes to keep it humorous.

After that, I gave it one more chance at another seminar just incase I was missing something as even as an intuitive, sometimes you want things to feel differently then they are based on how you had imagined them to be and this time and I really wanted to like the whole Network Marketing this but sitting in the room again, I literally felt like I wanted to leg it from the room, so decided it was safe to say at that point, it was definitely not for me. This is when I fully understood the concept of emotional bypassing.

I was in a room full of people that were there to make money. They had convinced themselves that they were invested in products that they had no genuine heart centred investment in. The majority of the people there, prior to being offered this opportunity, were in a painful situation that being presented with this extra money making opportunity they looked at as some kind of saving grace and they sat around talking about how they were going to show everyone that never believed in them what they could achieve by believing they could do it. It was not a room filled with positive enforcement, although it screamed that on the surface, it was a room filled with ego and fear based choices. When you are introduced to the law of attraction at a point in your life where you are experiencing pain and still holding old emotional wounds and out of alignment beliefs, if you don’t deal emotionally with those wounds or programming that are causing you to feel like that, you can only create your future experiences from a place of pain, however much you tell yourself through positive reinforcement and affirmation that life is wonderful. You will attract an opportunity on the surface that looks like it is going to pull you out of that emotional low but it will not allow you the true freedom to be your true authentic self. It will come with limitations and eventually things will break down again. You can save yourself a lot of time and pain by dealing with emotions and situations immediately as a reflection of what is going on inside you, rather than trying to change the world around you to patch it up.  By refusing the emotions, you are emotionally bypassing. If you want to avoid this, never choose anything that looks like it is here to save you, because I assure you it is not. The term ‘fake it until you make it’ is one of the most misleading phrases that exists as you can’t fake anything when it comes to energy.

If you are unhappy with where you are in your life and you look at your outer reality say for example, you do not feel like you have enough money in your life to enable you financial freedom, it is because you are holding an underlying belief somewhere within you that reaffirms lack and an aspect of you that does not believe you deserve personal freedom.

The true meaning of freedom, is to feel that you are 100% comfortable with who you are and as a result, attract whatever circumstances that allow you to express yourself in situations that mirror that love of who you really are without compromise, limitations or adaption. Freedom is complete acceptance.  It has nothing to do with needing to change things externally to fit an ‘idea’ of freedom or behaving in a way that you believe freedom to be because feeling true freedom will literally look different to every person on the planet. For some, freedom looks like isolation to others so there is no right or wrong approach to it.

That brings me to my experience with it this week. I have been solidly exploring self discovery work for the past 3 years and I have got to a point within the past year where I have finally felt like I really understood these other facets of myself such as being able to read people psychically and understand why I experience things so sensitively emotionally, that by understanding them, have given me a real sense of self worth and self acceptance as I really understand myself now and can sit with things emotionally without judgement and not become attached to them to understand what is being shown to me. It has also completely changed how I view mental and physical imbalances and what they really are..but I will save that for another blog. Remember pain is always an indicator that you are choosing to hold onto something that is no longer a vibrational match to you.

So having gone through this process for such a long time, in the past year it has been rare that, I have encountered situations that have thrown me into a complete mental breakdown…but we are always learning!

Anyway, at the beginning of June, I decided to go completely self employed, I had enjoyed working behind a bar for years, but had got to a point where it was starting to wane, and for the last 9 months, I had been building up my own psychic business at the same time, but for the past month I had physically got a point at the bar where I had no energy to put into my own business as I was so exhausted from the bar that it really started to get to me and the things I had learnt to tolerate over the years from working in the hospitality industry became big things and I had no tolerance for anymore and completely outweighed the elements of working in that industry that I genuinely enjoyed. Because of the environment, I was being constantly hit on by men and what I had learnt to tolerate over the years was no longer tolerable and it induced this raging fire in me and it took me a while to calm down from every time it happened so that coupled with the low energy was my indication to go. Things were completely out of balance. I was getting skin break outs from the stress as well so my body was definitely not happy with the situation.

After handing in my notice, I breathed a sigh of relief and knew it was the right choice and and launched myself into my business, completely focused and things materialised very quickly and things progressed fast for the first month, but for the last 2 weeks, fear of money had strangely started to creep in.

I had gone through the motions of releasing all fear related to money and survival and complete trust in my intuition a couple of years ago (in a very extreme way I might add so I feel like I should add in here- don’t try this at home :p) when I physically got myself to a place where I had reduced everything in my life down to the bare minimum, I only had enough stuff left to fit into an overnight bag, had no job, no money, my phone had been cut off so I could only use it connected to wifi and no guarantee of where I would be on a daily basis and I basically set myself the challenge of getting from London to Stanstead airport and then Stanstead airport to Heathrow airport without any knowing of how I would even stay alive, but just knowing that I would. It was gruelling to say the least but in no moment was I ever without what I needed to survive and met some incredibly considerate people along the way and every moment when I thought like giving up, a miracle appeared. Even if that miracle was a bag of crisps. It changed my view on the world forever and gave me complete confidence in my own intuition.

After walking through something like that, the fear driven, hunter gatherer approach to survival left completely and I have always known since then that my basic survival needs would always be met without the detriment to others and jobs have lined themselves up when I needed them and people have always appeared to help.

So needless to say it was a huge surprise this week when the emotions related to fear of money and basic survival erupted so strongly that for 2 days it paralysed me and the thought of working another job again devastated me because I had only known jobs that had caused me complete exhaustion and to my mind, it felt like I was taking a complete step backwards so I freaked out.  I was angry because I couldn’t understand why I was feeling like that, all my incoming business had suddenly halted, people weren’t replying to me, and I was well and truly fear locked. Luckily I have a couple of very caring people in my life that were on hand to reassure me and tell me when I was being ridiculous. So I managed to get the emotional stuff out the way and then sat with the fear itself and had a conversation with it.

When I allowed it a voice, instead of getting mad at it, it revealed itself.

I had attached myself to an idea that self employment was what freedom looked like to me and because my mind had not experienced working in an employed environment before that allowed me to express myself completely authentically in a way that I didn’t have to suppress or adapt myself for, and be paid fairly for the skills that I have, I was judging employment because I had pain centred around it, even though the reality is, I know that the past is not a reflection of what I am capable of co-creating now and just because I am yet to experience employment in that way, doesn’t mean that I won’t. It’s just that you have to trust in the unknown for that to manifest itself.

The truth is, I love reading for people and assisting in self discovery but there is also an aspect of me that really loves being part of a team environment and having people there that I can bounce off and banter throughout the day too. Its part of who I am and I realised that after two awesome weekends that I have spent with people that I have that genuine rapport and enjoyable time with and then coming back to my own company for the majority of the week, was not allowing that side of me to express itself and having people to banter with is actually a real emotional release for me because a lot of the things I help people deal with are so heavy, so the lack of it started to send me stir crazy and blocked everything else and I ended up having a complete mental breakdown and I had convinced myself was because I was afraid of not having enough money so tried to control that initially instead to looking for what was really being projected. So there you go, even fears are sometimes not what they appear to be.

Self discovery allows you to develop a deep and meaningful relationship with yourself and if you are like me and like understanding why things are the way they are and how they work, then meditation is a really good place to start and this is something I would recommend to anyone that is genuinely dedicated to becoming self aware. As a side note and I think this is important, particularly for a couple of people that I have worked with recently that are literally addicted to psychics, I will only ever tell you the information that is relevant to you now so although I can always give you clarity and see what you are not seeing when you are consumed in amongst the mind chatter, the work will always have to come from you to when you are faced with situations that you wish to change. Help will always be there but the only person that can ever pull yourself out of a difficult situation is you. Relying on someone to keep giving you positive information about amazing things that will show up for you, doesn’t make those things show up, you do.

Thank you so much for taking time to read my first post. If you are interested in receiving a reading, or have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Until the next post. It’s been emotional.

Stef x http://www.stefbaker.com

#business #mentalhealth #psychic #consciousness #psychology #selfdiscovery