The most important people when it comes to business and making your dreams a reality

I thought today I would talk about a valuable lesson I learnt this week. When it comes to business and integrity in business, the most honest work is done with the underlying intention of the work to assist and help others in some way. It doesn’t matter if it is a product or a service, they both still offer the same act of service, just in different ways.

When it comes to starting up as a business, no one could ever do that alone. You don’t have a business without clients and without the unwavering belief and acts of goodwill from those closest to you. I think that what we generally forget as human beings is that, the people that love you and stand by you the most, will always be the ones that can help you the most. The people that love you unconditionally and would be willing enough to tell you the truth when it comes to your behaviour and particularly when you are doing or considering doing something that isn’t YOU or asks you to compromise your spirit in some way. I speak completely from experience on this.

I decided to start up a life of self employment as I had developed skills that I knew would be of assistance to others. I also thought that by continuing to also work in an environment that had the constant footfall of new faces, in hospitality, that my client base would grow at an exponential rate because it was a social environment which gave me the opportunity to present to others in that way, but what learnt was that, in that environment, I was a bartender and waitress and those that came into that environment saw me as that too. I was there to serve them their food and drink so couldn’t see or visualise me as anything else. What I was saying to them, did not fall in line with their desired wants and intentions in that environment, so it was disregarded mentally by them by the time they walked out of the door. I gained 1000’s of mini conversations with people claiming to be interested in the work that I did and showing what now I know to be ‘false’ interest, a lot of time and energy which could have been spent in other ways, and not one client as a result. The most interesting part that I discovered however, was that the clients that I did get, were as a result of building a connection with the other staff that I worked with that very kindly trusted me to practice my skills with them and recommended me as a result to others. The clients and connections that I made, were all built directly from a place of trust.

What we have to remember, is that, no one will ever invest in you or your time and work unless A) they can witness you at work because you gain instantaneous trust that way (I have to be completely open as the clients I work with are putting themselves in a position where I have access to their innermost workings in order to help them) ‘the proof is in the pudding’ type display and B) they have some sort of reference or recommendation from someone else that your work is honest and true. When you are asking someone to recommend you, you are asking them to put their own reputation on the line which to the ego driven mind, is a very difficult and painful ask because they are putting themselves out, to help you. Particularly is the service or product you are offering is something entirely new and would have been previously brushed off as ‘weird’.

The people that love you unconditionally, whether it be friends or family, are your strongest base for early recommendation so having loving and honest open exchanges with people in your life that would be willing to sing your gifts from the rooftop, is as much an important factor, as your skills and gifts itself. It is a huge misconception that you need people that didn’t know you previously to prove that your work is worthwhile. Focus on the people that really do know you and can help you.  You waste a lot of time and energy holding and playing to that ideal that success is the result of reaching someone that knows nothing about you.

To be an individual that has that investment of love, number one, shows that you are open to it and therefore must be an unconditionally loving person to hold those kind of connections in your life, and secondly, sends a strong unconscious message to the person considering investment into your work, that you are true to who you say you are because someone else is willing to put themselves on the line for you.

Plus the amount of inspiration that has come from those closest to me, even in the most painful times, is so valuable to my work that I have, and always will consider it a team effort.

Anyone anywhere that acts as if and says that they don’t need others, is a person that is not open emotionally and you would not get integrity from their work. Anyone that treats the people that help them as dispensable, does also not hold integrity in their work.

In this day and age, it is understandable why we still live in a society where people have a hard time trusting others and the things we invest in. Social media is a powerful platform and for a business owner is a real asset to growing your business, particularly with the ability to display you live in action, but also a fast and surefire way to reach others through recommendation from those that love you and your work. It does come with a flipside however, which is why there has has never been a more important time than now, to show the world who you really are, so start outweighing all the bullshit.

The internet is rife with individuals hiding behind a mask and selling you an idea of something that isn’t real. Something that compromises integrity just to fall in line with ‘trends’. Trends are fads that create a sense of community in amongst something that has no real heart. This is exacerbated by the mindless soaps and to those of you that are from the UK, shows such as the most recent ‘Love Island’, which sell the idea of fame to vulnerable individuals for exchange the psychological exploitation of their character and behaviours. Not only that, but teaching others, and particularly the young generation that that sort of interrelation and manipulation between others in relationships, is ‘normality’. This breeds trust issues subconsciously and subliminally at the deepest levels without you even realising and causes problems when individuals act out those behaviours in real life. People have a tendency to find behaviours like that that amusing when watching them on TV and then unable to identify them as the reasons as to why they are experiencing similar interrelation issues in real life because they disassociate TV from reality.

Don’t ever try and gain interest by compromising your character/your look/your abilities in some way to gain followers and interest because you are misselling who you really are. Not only that, but those closest to you, the ones that really matter, will feel compromised when recommending you to others and will want to withdraw from your work. Their investment into you is your security. The people that love you unconditionally and the ones that you can pinpoint as your biggest investors, are the ones you feel relaxed and completely at ease around, like you don’t have to withdraw from in any way. It’s the feeling of knowing if you fall asleep on the sofa, they would cover you with a blanket and not try and wake you up for their own entertainment, is a good way of explaining it. They would just let you be.

The truth is, everything else in life is unstable and constantly changes yet we base so much emphasis of the security on things such as the amount of money in our bank account and the amount of followers that we have, that we forget that the true meaning of security is the people that love us no matter what. The whole economy could collapse tomorrow but nothing can change the unconditional love that you have with others and having a person that cares about you right in the moment that you need them.

So today, I would like to simply like to offer gratitude and thanks to everyone that has ever stood by me in life as I wouldn’t even be here writing this without you.

And just remember, that family is not just your blood relations, it’s anyone that you have that unconditional love exchange with.

Take time to invest in the people that love you, and you won’t ever feel alone or without security.

Have a great weekend!

Stef

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