The 'Good Person' Trap.

The ‘Good Person’ Trap.

We are living in very interesting times that in its strange configuration, has brought to the forefront behaviours and patterns prevalent in human nature that prior to the shifts that have recently taken place, blissfully continued to enact themselves, seemingly undetected.

We have come to associate ‘rational response’ to only impact us when it comes from something we would identify as negative such as hitting or shouting at another in retaliation to something we don’t like or want to hear and we would identify that as a ‘negative rational response’. One of the most interesting dispositions I have seen highlighted and come forward in many at this time is rational response based on the need to save another from pain or individuals acting rationally in a demanding way to ensure someone else saves them from something they do not wish to experience or are fearful of. Things that, to the programmed mind, would not consider the rational response as ‘saviour’ to be something that acts just as much as a detriment to an individual as what we would associate ‘negative rational response’ to be. One of the greatest challenges humanity faces at this time is reconnection to the pain body as we have been seduced and come up with a myriad of ways, including ideologies that somehow pain was the enemy to remove us from the full spectrum of life itself, in tandem, stopping us seeing the whole picture and breeding unbalanced dynamics of the ‘savers’ and those that need ‘saving’.

Because of the inherent urgency that connects itself to both of these states as they are both anchored in attachment and survival which are indirectly programs based off separation, we are seeing a rise in rational response based on ‘worst case scenario’ and a need to be the good person coming forward as a saviour, yet it is going undetected as an unhealthy dynamic and just another way that ‘rational response’ is being expressed. We cannot ever see clearly until we take the time to slow down and properly reassess what is happening around us and through us and whether or not our placement in that, is really of use to ourselves and others or propelling itself from an old program rooted in needing to be a good person, or saving someone else from themselves. I have had a number of people contact me during this time, with real urgency for something that is not anchored in life or death, with an air of needing urgent response. When we offer up the energy of urgency in anything, (which is always detectable through tone and language) whether it be urgent or not, we are denying ourselves the opportunity to know ourselves deeper and handing over control to someone outside of us to save us from the very experience we sort of escape from. We are also expecting that person to drop everything and to tend to or soothe us immediately, without a thought for that person's own engagements and commitments. When we comfort and console an individual all the time rather than letting them process their own emotions, we rob them of personal evolution. When we deny their behaviour or allow them to continue to do things that impact our relationship with them and protect them from the implications of their behaviour, we hold them hostage from reality and learning from their own mistakes.

We have been sold the idea that ‘a good person’ is someone that is agreeable and sacrifices themselves and their own needs, to appease pain in others and to protect from archaic structures of 'protecting those you love'. We have made pain the enemy, something we need to ascend past, rather than integrating it and utilising it for its inherently valuable feedback. This dynamic has never shown itself in a more apparent way than it has recently in global health.

Humans cannot live without freedom. Freedom to be themselves, freedom of expression and freedom of choice to engage with things, people and scenarios that they want to and those that they don’t. When we become agreeable to others ideas about who we should be and moulded on the expectations of what others think is what it takes to be an agreeable human, and what we should do, we hand over our power to them and we hold ourselves hostage from our true individual nature and deny the very experience that has led us to feel certain ways in the first place.

To give you an example, I am someone that is very happy having a very small group of close connections, that in all honesty, does not extend very far past my immediate family and few close friends, some of which I can see once or twice a year and that be enough. By truly allowing myself to express and be who I really am, I really enjoy time on my own, I enjoy working on my own and because I stream, download and research information regularly, I limit the amount of others energies I come into contact with on close connection so I am not engulfed by others energy fields and energy streams as it enables me close and direct focus on the things I want to create and know will be off assistance to others as this is the area I have focused my mastery- it also makes me a highly attuned practitioner of the work I do. I enjoy the process of personal transformation and am not afraid of the integration of shadow aspects so prefer to go through that journey on my own as it offers not only personal transformation but great insight and aids my work. I am highly creative so enjoy musical expression and art and have done all my life. I lived a life for many years where I was what you would consider to be ‘outwardly social’ and never felt fulfilled because it wasn’t who I am and didn’t support my unique make up, I was living a life dictated by programming and what you had to do to be ‘socially accepted’, in the end making me unhealthy and unhappy and compromised on my own values. To another, this may not feel like a fulfilling life, but for me, it feels like my personal home and where I feel sovereign in my own space.

When we deny someone's pain, we deny them the gate to their own freedom, whether that be physical, emotional or mental. It was pain that indicated to me that I was living a very unfulfilled life and one that was not who I was at all. When we signal to others that pain is bad and they need rescuing from it, we tell them on an unconscious level that going on a journey of self discovery and away from the comfort of someone trying to save them from it will only lead to more pain when the total opposite is true. When we fear pain, we generate resistance to it and as a result, build a carefully constructed life on the avoidance of it hence the introduction of pain killers, drugs and alcohol and many other distractive measures.

All pain and imbalance manifests as an indicator that the individual is going against the grain of their true self, their true self knows more than the mind. All people have the capacity to evolve their own consciousness. It is not limited to any one person or group. The world right now is showcasing more pain than has ever been consciously seen in human history with not only what is being broadcast in human health, but from how disconnected humans have become from pain and the atrocities and crimes against humanity that are all coming to light as a result of continued repression on a global scale. We can see the amount of people clinging to life on the reliance of healthcare systems because they have readily handed over the keys of their own health, to others to fix if something goes 'wrong', rather then becoming connected and intuitive to their own bodies cues and indicators, so afraid of death and transition to the other side that they will hand over control to anyone that seems to have the answer to saving them from it. (Which is no one by the way, physical death is just a natural part of life so fearing it only leads to a repressed life).

We have reached critical mass and mass reinvention has been called for as we have reached a point where the continuation of the human race depends on it. The key to reinvention and knowing your part in the bigger part, is found in your own personal journey of healing, transformation, integration and exploration of self and not through saving another or deflecting through acts of attempting to rescue another from themselves. It is finding your own brand of mastery and dedicating yourself to that path, in however its expression comes through you and where you feel truly at home in yourself, when no one else is watching you.

Stef

www.stefbaker.com to book and explore